Guess who’s back…..

…..back again. And is just as exhausted as I was last night 😒 this time they let me sleep until 3:30! (IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE Y’ALL! 😑😑) S woke up me up because she wet the bed again. I try not to get frustrated but it’s hard especially when you’re exhausted 😪 I think I’m going to have to get her some overnight underwear until she outgrows it. Thinking about getting these:

Good Night Underwear (click me)

Hopefully they will help because I can’t keep doing this 😩 and more importantly, she won’t feel embarrassed. *Sigh* this positive parenting thing is hard, but it’s important to me. I don’t want to yell at them or make them feel inferior. They’re still little people who have feelings just like us. My baby girl is so much like me it scares me and honestly pulled me away from her for two years. I hated that I saw so much of me in her. But I’ve finally realized what I was doing and it’s causing me to have to love myself because the last thing I want to do is make her feel unloved…..I lost two years with her (emotionally) I can never get back but I can make sure I never do it again. My babies are my reason for being which is sad but true.

Well I just went a lot deeper than I thought I would! I have G’s yucky eye crust so I must bow out to wash my face before my eye is glued shut haha 😩

Peace and Love

💜💜💜💜💜

–P

Sleepless in Chicago….(or close enough)

*me singing to the tune of Adele to the clock*

“Hello, it’s me”

Here I am, once again, up at 2 am (hey that rhymes!) I am constantly getting woke up by my children like it’s some middle of the night tradition. This time it was S who nearly gave me a heart attack standing at the foot of the bed. She swore she was not sleepy but was bored and I’m just like “PLEASE LET ME SLEEP!” Needless to say, I got her back sawing logs (yes she’s snores….loudly) and here I am wide awake.

I love my babies, I truly do but goodness knows I MISS SLEEP! I haven’t had a full, restful good night’s sleep since before I was pregnant with S! (7 YEARS AGO😨😭) A perfect gift for me would be one night in a decent (doesn’t even have to be fancy!) hotel with just me and Papa J where I can take a nice, long hot bubble bath, drink a ~~lot of~~ little wine and get lost in A Song of Ice and Fire (Game of Thrones for my non geeky readers). And chocolate, must have chocolate. Let Papa J bring the Xbox and I’ll be left alone for hours 😂

*Le sigh* welp G just woke up so here starts my second shift.

Oh look someone took a picture of me 😴😜

💜💜💜💜💜

–P

The Journey Begins

Welcome to this crazy thing I call life!

Hello out there in the multiverse! This being my very first blog post (eep!) I figured why not give a little background into my colorful life! First off I am a mother (if you hadn’t guessed haha) of 5! Yes 5! 3 by biology, 2 by love. I am also bipolar and to be honest, I don’t know how long this blog will survive seeing as I’m starting it while manic (if you’re unaware, while manic you feel as if you can rule the world) but I want to keep it up. Writing is my release, my therapy, and it’s especially true now while I’m searching for a new therapist and are off my meds. So I hope I don’t get jumbled up writing while my mind is going a million miles a minute! Bipolar disorder isn’t the only thing I am battling. I also have generalized anxiety, Lupus, fibromyalgia, avascular necrosis of both hips, and psuedotumor Cerbri just to name the major ones. I belong in a bubble.

Since this is the introduction I will make a little key for initials so you guys can keep up with who I’m talking about. Papa J is my partner who I’ve been with for 5 years, J(14) is our oldest daughter, j(lowercase)(12) is our middle daughter, S(6) is our youngest daughter, JJ(3) is our oldest son, and G(4months) is our baby boy. And yes Papa J has an obsession with J’s 😂 (G’s middle name starts with a J).

I hope you guys will stick around with me as I fumble through this thing called life. Thanks for taking a chance and climbing aboard this train! Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be one bumpy ride!

💜💜💜💜💜

–P